YenVui ~ Quidam: Escape of Sadness

Merry Christmas (Year 2011)

2011-12-28T18:03:00.009+08:00

Today at 8:00am (Paris time), we safely landed Paris Orly Airport. The anticipation that built overnight on board of D720 is coming to a peak! After the immigration check-point clearance, we collected the baggage from carousel no. 2, then off we went with one Peugeot taxi to the Paris Centre.

Everything is so fresh and posh, even the taxi also using expensive continental car - Well, at least to our standard. Taxi fare cost us Euro30.00, the journey from Orly Airport to hotel + 2 pcs of is the luggage (Euro1.00 each).

Slightly after 9:00am, we arrived at Adagio Paris Tour Eiffel. Something that really worth me remembering of this trip is the warmth and friendly welcome that we received at the reception area, and a special highlight to the hotel - they ask no deposit for our room at all - room charges are all paid for before the trip. Usually in most Asian countries, even we have paid of all the room charges, they'll still ask for a minimum charge of at least a hundred a night (we have met one ridiculous one in HK, that actually ask for full payment of room charges + full amount of deposit!!), so this is really a pleasant surprise! - Well done, Adagio management!!

After a quick shower and rest, Honey and I went of to Rue du Theater, that's where our aparthotel is located, we walked around... it is a very quiet and peaceful residential neighborhood. Even though most of the shops are closed due to Noel, but we can see there are places to eat - Western / Eastern, place for groceries and pharmacies - quite complete. We came into this Chinese Restaurant which runs by a Chinese immigrant, he serves no-too-bad Chinese food! Well, how much we can ask for right? Chinese food in France! Being away from home, we feel really warmth seeing Chinese food & rice!! Hehe... Like I always say, I am very Chinese when come to food! We ordered 2 plates of rice - Honey had the Caramel Pork while I had Onion Stirred Fried Beef and, 2 pcs of fried pork spring rolls + 4 'ha gau' - as expected it is not cheap to have Chinese food in France - total bill cost Euro15.00 (almost BND26.00). But still, it settled our craving of rice! :)

After much walking, seeing that the shops are closed and nothing much to be explored here today, we hop on to a taxi and headed to the world's famous - Champ Elysees!

- 25/12/2011 (Sunday) @ Brioche Doree Cafe (one Parisian style cafe in Champ Elysees)

Christmas Eve (Year 2011)

2011-12-28T17:49:00.004+08:00

A special Christmas Eve it is. Without fancy dress and make-up, Honey and I are at our traveling gear, getting ready to board AirAsia X D720 to Paris, France.

I have promised myself, for at least once in my life time, I will set my footprints on the Parisian soil, guess I am making it happen now... How excited!

So much so of the preparation - early purchase of air tickets (as early as March!), gone through the trouble of getting the visitors' visa approved, monitoring of the Euro rate to convert my BND and also not forgetting the thousand of hotels review that we have read through in the internet before settling down to 2 hotels... I know all of these are behind us now. We are finally here... Heading to the City of Lights, our dream trip.

We are now close to 3 hours to departure, at 10:05pm (now!), my heart is raving fast, anticipation is high as to what to expect of the very first French morning would brings? :)

Till my next update... Merry Christmas to all! :))

- 24/12/2011 (Saturday) @ LCCT International Departure Hall

思潮 . 神經

2011-01-21T23:40:00.000+08:00

曾經很固執的認為愛一個人, 只要自己用心的去經營, 那一段感情就會開花結果. 愛一個人不是應該不在乎一切嗎? 盡能力的去愛, 甚至愛到遍體鱗傷也覺得自己是偉大的! 但現在的我卻相信愛情是沒有絕對的, 你努力的去愛, 並不代表對方就一定要為你張開雙臂. 他可以毫無理由的拒絕你, 甚至對你不加理睬也沒罪. 在這樣的情況下, 你再不舍得放手, 也只是坦然!

勉強的維持一段感情只會讓雙方都更痛苦, 學習放手, 也學習放開, 生活肯定會活的更精彩. 但天生固執的我, 要愛了好多回和用了好多年的時間才領悟到這個道理. 放開手不再去愛那位心愛的人, 固然是一件好難, 好痛的事, 就連這樣一個念頭都足以讓你心酸. 真式的去做時該以什麼樣的心情和該預備多少的勇氣? 很多時侯不舍的放開的並不是那位你認為不能失去的人, 而是和他所經過的一切, 是他給你的回憶, 好的, 壞的, 你都不想放棄. 因為這一些回憶填滿了你所有的思潮, 你歡喜, 哀傷的神經...

虛榮心

2011-01-21T23:39:00.000+08:00

熙熙攘攘的生活填滿了人們毫無至盡的“虛榮心”, 這種所為的“虛榮心”並不只限制於物質上, 在感情世界裡, 戀人對彼此的“虛榮心”更是無窮無盡的. 當一段感情剛開始時, 大家都以毫無期望的心態起步, 無私的為對方付出, 無私的默默承受一切 , 只要他快樂, 你都在所不惜.

剛開始萌芽的愛情是多麼的甜蜜但卻那麼的脆弱, 彼此都相信對方就是自己所要找的另一半, 在他身上你仿佛看到了自己, 不停的自問, 這世上怎會有一個人的性格跟自己這麼相近? 他的性格真的與你這麼像似嗎? 還是這一切都是他為了要取悦你而擬造出來的假象?

相信幸福

2011-01-21T23:37:00.001+08:00

幸福雖然並非必然, 但想要擁有其實一點不難.

一對相愛的夫妻, 一段平凡的婚姻, 幸福就不過是如此.

它不須要華麗的裝設, 也不須要浮誇的諾言, 一切都盡在不言中. 你如絲般的溫柔與呵護, 境讓我受寵若驚. 你一再的努力表現自己, 讓我的驚喜一次比一次更大... 讓我相信愛能克服任何障礙... 讓我知道只有堅持去相信, 幸福就在身邊...

我的生活迎進了七彩, 你曾說過不讓黑白填滿我的人生! 你牽引著我一步一腳印的畫出我倆的未來, 而你寬厚的肩膀是這般的可靠及能令我安心. 我就這麼相信你, 就把我雙眼給矇上, 我也絕不會對你的方向判斷有所懷疑. 矇上雙眼的我就只靠你的牽引而找到方向, 不須要多問, 我倆的終點總會一致.

幸福就是相信, 相信自己最早的決定, 也相信為對方所做的一切.

幸福其實就在你手中, 一切都在於你肯不肯選擇去相信它的存在...

Year 2010 Christmas Trip - Seoul (Part 3)

2010-12-29T19:38:00.000+08:00

Believe it or not? I was so excited about this trip and truly enjoying myself until I totally forgot to update this journal. These two days hubby and have been experiencing a lot of fantastic thing that we don't get to in Brunei. On the night of 27/12/2010, hubby and I felt the very first time playing in the snow. We were shopping at Dongdaemun, and halfway through it, as we were entering one shopping mall, the snow started to land softly on our face then our hands... Our coats and eventually all over us. Hubby and I were like little kids, running and trying to catch that tiny softness that felt like nothing at all! The snow got heavier as we were playing, the roads that once black and dark suddenly turned all glistening white, everywhere was white and cold... People running trying to avoid the snow, because it was really heavy. The temperature that night reached a freezing of at lease 15 degree celcius! The feeling of having that little white softness stopped and melted on our face are something that can't be described by words... This is a longing since childhood for hubby and I.... Finally, it came true!

I have to admit that this trip is rather draining, as we do a lot of walking around. Most Bruneian would agree with me that in our country, we usually move around in a car, the idea of walking that one kilometere is killing. These few days I have walked miles and miles, but good thing is, I don't feel hot or sweaty at all... How wonderful is it to live in a cold country like Seoul! Last night, Hubby and I went to Myeongdong, it was a large area where we spent hours shopping and looking around. The roads were filled with snow and because of the low temperature, now has turned on to ice and formed this icy slippery surface that make us quite hard to balance ourselves when walking. I fell down once when shopping in Myeongdong, it was very painful, but thank goodness no one know me there, so can totally cut the embarrassment! Haha!

Hubby is a little under the whether since reached Seoul. The left side of his cheek is swollen... We went to the Pharmacy to bought some medicine, the thing is, all of the labels are printed in Korean! How on earth are we going to understand? Hence we think better to see a doctor, yesterday morning we went to Beseto clinic to let a dentist checked on hubby, dentist claimed that very likely due to the bad cavity that's why hubby's face is swelling. He prescribed some antibiotics to Hubby... Hubby has been taking it since yesterday, but we are yet to see major improvement, hopefully he will be better soon so that he can be like me, enjoying himself too during this trip. Till then...

Year 2010 Christmas Trip - Seoul (Part 2)

2010-12-29T19:36:00.000+08:00

Spent the last 2 days in KL was fun even though tiring. We have done and seen much. Little things were bought this trip, knowing that we still have a big trip ahead of us, we do not wish to add on anymore unnecessary weight to the already-heavy luggage. We are now having breakfast at Coffee Club on Bukit Bintang which is a brand new Western outlet near to Piccolo Hotel, we had our Christmas night supper here, too. The food is off quality, but I find it a little pricey compare with the normal places, but well, it's Bukit Bintang, what else can we ask for? We are all set and ready for the flight this afternoon... The next update will be when we reach Seoul! Anyohiseyo, Seoul!!

4:15pm... And I thought next update will be in Seoul! Haha! We waited for a good 3 hours on the check-in line due to computer faulty! Just imagine, we've been standing up for this long! Crazy!! Finally, we are now on board and flying off to Seoul. Honey and I are extremely hungry and thirsty, just wish that the stewardess will serve food and drinks soon. Flight delayed for 2 hours... We will be arriving in Seoul in about 6 hours and 20 mins, it should then almost 11 pm.

Year 2010 Christmas Trip - Seoul (Part 1)

2010-12-29T19:34:00.002+08:00

24th Dec, hubby and I are now on board AirAsia, heading KL! The trip of many months preparations and anticipation is finally here! We are sitting at the very last row of the air craft, no. 31E and F.

怎樣

2010-12-13T23:04:00.003+08:00

今晚, 在收音機裡聽到了一首戴佩妮的舊歌 - "怎樣".

回家後, 立刻上網, 在Youtube搜尋了一會兒. 找到了.

接下來的那一個小時裡, 不停的都在聽著這一首歌, 每當歌手唱到 "如果, 我們現在還在一起會是怎樣? 我們是不是還是深愛著對方? 像開始時那樣, 握著手就算天快亮?" 我很不由自主的會閉上眼睛, 一些往事會一幕一幕的閃過, 那些都是跟你的片段. 我突然明白對這首歌莫明而來的供鳴是對你的思念...

分手也快將十年, 一直以來我都逃避任何與你有關的消息, 壓抑著自己盡量不去想起和你一起的種種快樂. 然而, 這一首歌一開始唱就把整顆心給牽回到當年的佈景, 好像一套舞台劇將要上演... 道具, 燈光及音樂是這麼的熟悉但卻那麼的遙遠. 現在, 我已不再是台上的花旦, 這一切一切已離我太遠了, 我只好充當觀眾來看這一場沒有好結果的經典.

如果, 我只是說如果... 我和你從來都沒認識過, 我現在的日子會是怎樣?
如果, 我也只是說如果... 我和你現在還在一起, 我們的日子又會是怎樣?

兩個本來很熟悉的人, 突然變成了陌路人... 兩個本來朝夕相對的人, 突然各分東西... 剛相愛時, 你我也沒想到結局會是分開; 都說好要天長地久, 長相廝守, 但雙方都遵守不了這一份承諾. 說過的話已不算數了, 答應過的都可以忘掉了! 那些年, 如果你問我有否開心過? 不瞞你說... 這麼多年在一起, 沒有快樂的時候是騙你的... 但可悲的是不開心的事實在太多, 多的連那僅有的一丁點快樂也完全被淹蓋了. 所以, 分手成了我最終的決定.

我知道這一切都不會重來... 坦白說, 我也沒有任何意願想重來. 但請讓我保留這一點點想念你的權力, 不是還愛你, 而是感謝你曾經陪我走過那一段路, 也感謝你肯把我放開, 好讓我能碰到現在的這位他... 謝謝你.

你的前妻供勉之...

Back to reality... (after Chinese New Year)

2010-03-03T23:58:00.005+08:00

The much anticipated Chinese New Year had come and go with a blink of eyes, last weekend it was the Chap Goh Meh (the 15th day of CNY), and it marked the end of the Chinese New Year's celebrations and our normal routines start again.

Returning to reality, starting normal working / schooling hours, traffic jams, meetings, deadlines, trainings, appointments... the list can go on and on... everyone is going back to their normal practise to work hard for a living. During the passed 2 weeks, the world seemed to have stop turning, most of the people were indulging themselves in the spirit of the holidays and whatever that could be put on hold were being put on hold. Nothing is more important to enjoy the New Year and spend time with the family.

I returned to work on the 4th day of Chinese New Year, according to my Chinese zodiac, it was the most auspicious day this year for a Snake to start work... Not being superstitious, but since I have read it somewhere, might as well just practise it; at least with this, I'll always believe that I have had a good start this New Year, and whatever comes my way can only be fortunate and properous.

All well, ends well. I am very Chinese about it.

Year of Tiger

2010-02-13T11:09:00.005+08:00

It's Saturday, 13th Feb 2010, my 33rd Chinese New Year's eve.

Chinese New Year is the biggest celebrations of the Chinese community in everywhere of the world, as long as Chinese people can be found. Everyone is rushing here and there to buy staff for their home, getting new clothes done, trying out new shoes, cleaning their houses... So much so to be done, and the spirit of the celebrations is at its peak.

I will always look forward for Chinese New Year's celebrations, this is the time we need no other reasons to be with our family... spending time with each other and even just being at home with everyone around, not going anywhere can feel oh-so-right. This time of the year, my Mommy will definitely be the busiest at home, cleaning, cooking, preparing, washing... so much for Mommy to do... everyone will be home for the reunion dinner tonight, those overseas, those work far away... the feeling of anticipating tonight's dinner is so good... knowing that we will soon meet up with cousins that we haven't seen for a long time, uncles and aunties that we have missed.

After the dinner tonight, we will have our private fire-crackers & fire-works show in the compound outside my uncle's house in Seria. Everyone will be excited, waiting for my brother Nam & cousin Hung to get things ready and all the bad luck and negative energy that came with us since the year before will be blew up high in the sky and explode together with the fire works... shatter into tiny little sparks that light up the night sky, then disappear into thin air... we'll start a new year with all positive and auspicious energy...!

This year, the year of Tiger. According to the Chinese horoscope, this will be a busy year for me, lots of new area to be explored in work, and lots of new responsibility which will better my experience. And in love life, married couple will enjoy abundance romance and sweet time together... but even without this saying, I know that Honey and I have always been a couple that envied by lots of people... :) Health wise, this year need to watch out of all the frequent dine-out and indigestion... go slow, lite and go-green will be the strategies for now :) Being a Snake, Tiger year definitely bring me more power to fly higher! This year, I have set myself certain target at work that I will achieve, like I always say, nothing is impossible! Even it is something new to do, I learn as a I go... these experiences are something that no one can take away from me.

Allow me to quote a sentence that I read from the book titled "Shame" by Jasvinder Sanghera lately, "Speak what you want because once you've sown that seed you can work towards it". One must always have dreams to work on, dream is something that will keeps us moving on... a person without dreams it's like a spirit stuck in a zombie body. I know that my dream of being successful is taking me step-by-step closer to it, I want it and I will get it.

A New Year, a new me... I wanted only the best to happen to myself and I choose to live my life this positive way. May the energy of heaven and earth empowered me to complete this year of Tiger with lots of determinations and strong wills, to make all this possible!

If today is the end of the world...

2009-11-13T15:39:00.003+08:00

Lately, the movie '2012' has become a great hit among our friends, everyone is talking about how great and how breath-taking each catastrophe scene in the movie is.

I went to watch the movie last night, truly it is one of the movies that you don’t want to missed. The special effects and technology arrangements of the movies are great, but I find it not ‘deep’ enough, deep as in the feelings and emotions of each characters, it couldn’t impact too much on me, and it is the END OF THE WORLD that we are talking about here! Unlike the late 1990’s classics – TITANIC, with only an event that happened within one night, it makes me remember for life, and mind you, TITANIC is a movie that I’ve watched 17 times, and still find it captivating…

According to the ancient prophecy by Michel Nostradamus, December 20, 2012 will be end of the world. What is the first thing that come to your mind when a person mention to you 'end of the world'? Most of us will think of something very physical - the pain that we have to go through, the blood that we will shed. What about feelings? What about emotions? And what about spiritual?

If today is the end of the world, what do you want to do? Do you still want to go on chasing the dreams – money & fame that you have been chasing all these years? Do you still want to go on delaying telling that special someone you love him/her, thinking that you’ll still have a chance to do so tomorrow? Or do you still want to go on telling your parents that you do not have time to have a meal with them, because of the never-finish deadlines and works?

I am not trying to make you pessimistic about the future or trying to send out negative energy that will make you worried or panic. You and me, everyone in this world, we have always been taking life for granted, thinking that we’ll have chance to do what we always wanted to do tomorrow hence keep procrastinating some events in life that we will regret forever if tomorrow never comes. Life is short, why live it with regrets?

Come on, people… End of the world might or might not come, but why wait till then to treasure those we love? Tell them now, and show them now, how much they mean to you… Like I said, life is short, live life to its fullness, even if today is really the end of the world, your family, spouse or that special someone knows that you love them dearly, there’ll be nothing for them to regret living this life with you… Don’t you think so?

- Sunday, 15 November 2009

生活

2009-06-29T19:01:00.002+08:00

最近有點累, 是那忙碌的生活節奏吧!

真希望有時間能停下來好好的欣賞身邊的風景. 好好的用心去聽完那首未完的歌.

終於望到了... 終於我得拿假期, 遠離工作, 把壓力暫時放下, 全心全意的讓心身休息... 可悲的是, 我所要拿的是十天的病假. 不到病了也不願意停下腳步, 生活真的那麼委曲嗎?? 事實非也, 只是自己一直不願放慢腳步, 害怕緩慢的腳步會令自己錯失了最精彩的.

最精彩的往往就只有曇花一現, 為了這一分追尋的榮耀, 身心, 精神也透支了.

這一趟被逼住院檢查及進行一項小手術, 我看也該趁著這時候好好的休息一會兒. 歇一歇只為了往後要走更遠, 更長的路程.

薇 - 2009/四月九日

People come, people go.

2008-08-09T08:58:00.007+08:00

I do not know where it begun, and I do not know how it begun...
You came into my life by surprise, you held my hands and became my friend.
So much precious memories we had shared, but now leaving me feeling all the pain...
You left me quietly, make me wondering what is the meaning of friend?

I could never understand, the true feeling in your heart...
For you've never open up yourself, talk to me like someone you can trust.
I have no holding back and given you, all my true self and my heart...
For I've always believed friendship is all about sincerity and trust.

I shall forget all the memories, move on to another page of my life,
To help myself start anew, I know I have to walk away.
People come, people go... Only time will tell when the another you will come into my life,
If there is no trust in our friendship, tell me what is the point to stay?

I wish your journey of life - happy, success and smooth without me,
Hope that your love ones will always be with you,
One night, if you look upon the stars and think of me,
Please remember that, once in your life time there were you and me...

Some Thoughts, Any Thoughts

2008-08-03T02:21:00.003+08:00

Notice:

Tonight, no matter how hard I try, I just can't close my eyes, guess I've too much caffiene earlier. As I was looking through the documents in the PC just now, I found this article of which I wrote exactly 1 year ago in Dome Cafe. The cafe is gone now, but I am surprise and thrilled to find that, I still feel the same way I did one year ago about my work... The positive energy never goes away... The more I am stretched, the further I can go... :)

==================================================

It is Sunday again, 5th August 2007.

Hubby is working at The Mall, Gadong, for a Travel Fair organized by the Tourism Board of Brunei Government. I’ve been spending too much time alone, since yesterday. It is 5.15pm now, and I am still waiting for hubby in Dome Café, he hasn’t finished his duty yet, he is manning the booth and attending to customers, must be tiring and exhausting.

It has been quite sometimes since I last manned a booth during the time in CHC. It was never a good experience, visitors to the booth would expect I know everything about Canada and provide them with the finest answer possible. As the matter of fact, I should, but somehow, never would I have any interest to read more about this country. It isn’t that I dislike Canada, but I was “terribly pissed” by someone in the HC, which made me giving up trying on anything in CHC. Ah, forget about it! I am not going round the world to bring the story to you here! Haha! What is gone is gone! May those ‘bad memories’ stop haunting me again.

Gadong is considering the busiest place in BSB, as usual, it was packed of curious visitors to The Mall today. I made more than 10 turns and took me more than 30 minutes to found a parking, so you should know how crowded the situation is! Out of the cafés in The Mall, Dome is my favorite, despite the fact that the drinks and more expensive than usual and the air-conditioning seems never working, the environment here is quiet and peaceful. I might be loud and talkative, but whenever I am alone, I love to enjoy the tranquil of the air, no one to make too much noise to make me headache. It is always nice to be alone sometimes.

One might think that I am an introvert. But as the matter of fact, I love being with people, is just that the other side of me yearn to have some peacefulness whenever I am alone. I guess any busy working individuals will have this kind of feeling. After a whole week of hustling life, weekend is good to spend quietly in order to rejuvenate our energies! ‘

I am expecting for a busy week starting tomorrow, those meetings and trainings are lining up waiting for me. I managed to postpone 2 trainings until September, so at least I have 2 extra days which I can concentrate on my SOP. It is a scary thing to start another new month by seeing your SOP starts at -15 again… haha! But sometimes I think that it is actually quite fun. The more we do, the more the target get increased, the harder I would work to achieve it, if not because of this stretching way of work environment, I would never know how far I could go…

'Nin Jiom Pei Pa Koa'

2008-07-19T07:59:00.005+08:00

Its sore throat, flu and cough again!

I've been slightly under the weather this week. It all started with a mild sore throat last Friday evening, then flu... then the whole "package" kicks in... one after another. After the flu is gone, then the "grand finale" will be cough. I hate it the most!

No professional doctor is needed, because I am always my own doctor when it comes to flu and cough. I drank lots of warm water, no cold fruits... and my family traditional, ever-trusted cough remedy - Mixing 'Nin Jiom Pei Pa Koa' with hot water and sip down slowly. It always works for me...

Today is exactly the 9th day... I hope the cough will go away soon. It is so bad that sometimes I can feel my chest pain when cough. I was actually feeling better already yesterday but then... Blame it all to the cold Kwai Fei Lychees drink I had last night during a birthday dinner for my colleague, Ms W. The drink was so tempting so I had a little more that I should and I should've less ice to go with it... after I returned from the dinner, the coughing just wouldn't stop...

It's time for a cup of 'Nin Jiom Pei Pa Koa' now to sooth my throat... Hmmm...

Hope I'll recover soon...

New puppy

2008-07-17T23:12:00.002+08:00

Today at about 4:00pm, Brother Nam called me.

His friend is giving away puppies! Very kind and loving of my brother knowing that I am still mourning for the death of my puppies, he wanted to bring a new one for me.

It is an all-black, hairy, puppy girl... but I've a problem with it. I told myself I'll not adopt anymore puppies, it is very painful to see them die... Brother Nam is giving me a week time to consider, he thinks I really should bring this puppy home to fill the emptiness that I am feeling after losing Zhonnie and the other 2 puppies...

Should I or shouldn't I...?

Rest in peace - Zhonnie & 2 puppies

2008-07-05T00:55:00.002+08:00

Last Friday night, 4 July 2008, we came home @ about10.30pm.

Unlike any other day, our house compound was exceptionally quiet... we don't see the puppies running towards our car and try to 'catch' us while we tried to enter the house... which they usually would.

Hubby and I suddenly had a very bad feeling, "something is not right!", "this can't be it!” bad thoughts kept playing in our minds but none of us speak a word. As we dragged out tired body to first floor of our house, my father-in-law was waiting for us in the living room... He came to us as if something serious had happened, then he told us: "all the dogs are death!"... I suddenly realized - the worse had happened! All the dogs? Did he mean our 3-year old Zhonnie & the 4 puppies?? Then my father-in-law said: "but one of the puppies ran away...”

My husband I went out to the balcony and tried to call the puppy home. As we stepped out to the balcony, I noticed that the puppy was next door, underneath our neighbor’s car. As we called "puppy... puppy...” it came running back home to us as if seeing its rescuer, we went downstairs to check on the puppy... it was fine, but it was the only one left (out of the 5-dogs-gang we used to have!)... Everyone was quiet, no one said a word. After making sure the only puppy was alright... Hubby and I took our shower and went to bed... without saying anything at all... we sad and angry; sad because our loyal dog - Zhonnie & 3 puppies were death, angry because someone near to our house has poisoned them!!!

The next day morning, Saturday, 5 July 2008 @ about 8am, hubby kissed on my cheek to say goodbye as he was ready to work... I opened up my eyes, heard hubby said..."2 puppies came back"... so I rushed out to see, 2 of them (1 male & 1 female) was underneath hubby's car, but 2 of them were badly poisoned, they couldn't move at all. So I thought to myself, at least 3 of them survive; I must do something to rescue them... fast! Seeing them suffering really break my heart, I rushed to the room, grabbed my hand phone and start calling any vet numbers that I know, finally I got hold of an Egyptian doctor - Dr Mamdoh. He came after half and hour, checked on the 2 puppies, gave them medicine and injections, Dr told me that if they can survive today, they would be fine... Just make sure the medicine is fed to them again at 5pm.

Since I still need to work that afternoon (SCB Ceramic Exhibition), off I left at about 12:00 noon. At work, about 4:00pm, I received a phone call from hubby that 1 of the puppies couldn't make it... that's the short-tailed female one (the 1 that hubby loved most). Nothing can be done, we have tried our best but the poison was too strong... Someone (our neighbor’s worker) has buried it for us... I'd choose not to look at the body; I just want to remember it as a happy and energetic puppy of which I adopted 4 months ago always.

Out of all the sad news, (we thank God) 2 of the puppies made it. They are still on medication, but recovering. I noticed they are not as cheerful and hyper as before, probably shaken badly by the incident of losing their friends. Dogs also need time to recover from the pain, what more hubby and I, losing our loyal Zhonnie of 3 years and 2 puppies that we adopted since infancy. I will never adopt puppies anymore, just can't bear seeing something bad happen to them, they are so helpless & defenseless...

We adopted Zhonnie 3 years ago from Seria and 4 of the puppies on 13th March 2008 from Lumut.

T I M E

2008-07-04T01:30:00.006+08:00

The last time I wrote on my blog was October 2007... so much so happened within these few months but there are so little time for me to write all down.

Before the Christmas celebration last year, honey and I celebrated our 1st year wedding anniversary, then New Year came... one festival followed by another... and it's now July 2008. Time passes me so fast that I am only left with the bitter-sweet memories of all.

Recently, I was in a conversation with 1 friend, we were sharing about the 'best moment' in our lives; she said she hasn't learn the best moment in her life yet and she doubted will that moment ever come... I told her, THIS is the best moment of my life. Being a newbie of the 30 years-old, have a man that loves me, a healthy family, a satisfying (& stable) job, able to enjoy life as and when I like it... what else do I ask for? I bet an adult life is very much completed with these elements. You do not need to be rich to taste the 'richness' of life... what is more meaningful than having all the time in the world to live the life that you want? Many people are still chasing for this kind of luxury in life. Like the old saying goes, 'time wait for no one'... why wait for the best moment to come, while you can actually make it happen 'here and now'? I believe in living life to the fullnest (when you can), and love your spouse/partner to the fullnest (while you still can), many a time, one will only regret when opportunity is over. No point crying over spilled milk, love and treasure when you can... Be it your family, spouse, friends or even your colleagues... Don't always think that you are fated to be with this person then he / she will never leaves you, no one can be of greater power than HIM, who'll know what God's plans are...

You might think that I am very negative about life to having said that, but let me tell you... You will never know what's LOVE if you haven't really give it all to love someone... and you will never know what's LIFE if you haven't really give the time to live your life...! Don't just spend your time at work and ignore what's important to you. Take sometimes to love yourself and those around you... You'll find that, life is ever worth-living... it is afterall, a wonderful thing to do!

Changes

2007-10-20T21:33:00.000+08:00

Life is quite hectic lately despite the fact that we've just over the long weekend Hari Raya holiday, and came back from KK for a short escape...

Too much work, so little time. I haven't a chance to reflect myself what I have been through recently... So much changes already.

Someone in my department left the company. Most of her work are temporarily passed on to me, that is why I am so busy and have no time for any other thing in life. Have I been ignoring my close friends lately? I keep asking myself, but deep in me, I believe, my good friends will understand me eventually, I am sure they want to see my success. Being able to be busy at work is a good sign, it indicates that I am still wanted, and I love this feeling of being wanted and needed in an organization... It is this kind of feeling that keeps me going, pushing me breaking each and every personal record of myself. This month, I am being rewarded a free BND150.00 Orchestra ticket to see the Spanish Orchestra on November 9 with hubby, for I have achieved more than what was expected by me... Am I not proud? Honestly speaking, it is not the money that matters, it is the sense of success for taking up the challenge and able to overcome to challenge that make me proud of myself... BND150.00, it is too small an amount for me to fight for... but proving myself to the management is indeed the main motivation of it!

Hubby has successfully made himself as part of the new dynamic team that will shock the whole Brunei's travel industry! After about 3 years of silence, he finally resigned from the previous company and anticipating for a new beginning on November 1... My hubby is soon to be the Assistant Manager of Sales and Ticketing of this new company. For as new as this company is to be... eventhough they're still at its infancy period, I am very sure that with hubby's determination and creative mind, he can eventually shine like a star! Good luck, honey!

So much changes already...

Till then...

A lesson to learn - Lies & Confrontation

2007-08-08T23:20:00.000+08:00

Something happened yesterday evening, which I thought would worth recording down.

This event involves my colleague - S and me.

Since I joined the bank 1½ years ago, S has been a buddy to me, she has been teaching and coaching me how to handle customers, how to handle objections, how to do research for investment, how to use some of the software... and many more. I deeply appreciated S for being there all the time to give a helping hand. No doubt, she smoothened my career path in the earlier days.

But 6 months into my career with the bank, something happened that makes me started to wonder the genuineness of S for helping me through all these difficulties and why she always 'bitch' about our other colleagues in front of me? After some long and deep observations over the months, I have came to a conclusion that, S is in fact not a 'real helper', she helped me all this while is just to proved to our boss that she's 'concerned', 'love sharing' and 'care for' her colleagues but as reality always has it... It doesn't take too long till I and others see her true colors.

A minor case happened in the office yesterday, it all spurred up because of a decent joke we have in the office. S was so upset that she refused to talk to me and even look at me. The whole yesterday afternoon, she has been showing her long face to me. As a straight forward person, I couldn't take this kind of cold shoulder for too long. Before the end of the day, I told S that, we need to talk!

We were in a meeting room, deep in my heart, I have got several things that need clarification from S so I opened up the topic by asking her to tell me what's going on with her? She was caught off-guard by my frankness and bluntness, she was shocked and I could see that she was shivering. She kept insisting that it wasn't me that she was mad about, but another of our male colleague has humiliated her during our joke and she really hates this male colleague, and she couldn't say anything because she felt so hurt of the joke he put her through. Then I asked her, if she was mad about our male colleague, then why am I feeling the hatred and sorrow coming towards me? And I even saw her talking to this male colleague like usual, like nothing has ever happened? She said she was too upset to even want to shout at him or even scold him... Then I think to myself, so you express all your anger on me instead??

After we settled this incident, just to clear the air once and for all, I confronted her few lies which I picked from her along the way, of which I never disclosed to her that I knew the fact. When I asked her about the lies, she diverted my attention to other colleagues, including our boss and one of the senior staff in the company (Ms O), and asked me not to trust anyone in the company! She even invited me to shake-hand and make peace with her, but I rejected her by simply telling her that, I have lost all trust in her, a hand-shake to make peace is a no-no for now. Then she wanted us to start building the trust again... I told her... She must show me how to trust her? And help me to see that she is genuinely sincere in building a team with me here, otherwise it is very difficult for us to work together again!

I never like to back-stab anyone. If anyone disagrees with me, please, come out to the light and tell me straight off! I am pretty sure that I taught her a valuable lesson yesterday, because she promised me that, even if she is being unfair to others, she would never be unfair to me - To this, I am only trusting her for 10%, because I told her that I need time to build back that trust that she has ruined. And in order for me to befriend her again like the old days, she really got to 'behave' and work hard to earn a trusty friendship with me. Someone like her can be quite pathetic in times, I couldn't figure out why is she doing all these and plotting all kinds of lies just to put others down? Maybe she is trying to protect herself... or maybe due to some historical incident; she has lost confidence in handling a genuine friendship... I have no idea. But anyhow, she could mess with anyone with her chronic attitude problem and lying habits, but she never tries to mess with me again!

Call me an activist or a fighter; I am as blunt as I could be, I have nothing to hide! This is one of benefits of being honest and open...

I am always the louder one when it comes to arguments, because I don't lie!!!

Outserve with Passion

2007-08-08T22:56:00.000+08:00

Too much coffee during the day today, no matter how I tried to close my eyes and sleep, I just couldn't. Since I am so wide awake, I might as well write a post for my blog.

Today, I attended a 2-day training for 'Outserve with Passion' at Orchid Garden Hotel. This is one of the bank's initiatives to drive all the staff to - Service Excellence. 'Outserve' our clients, simply means, to go the extra-mile for our customers. As a Relationship Manager and a front-liner, this is indeed a valuable lesson not to be missed.

I am so glad to be selected as one of the 30 staff to attend this class, the theme for 'Outserve' is ALOHA - it is simply defined as: -

A - Attend to customer
L - Listen to customer's needs
O - Offering solution
H - Handling recovery
A - Appreciate. Close with passion

We were made to wear straw-skirts throughout the class and there were games and activities which stimulated our minds and get us thinking out of the box. We got out of our working environment, in a comfort zone where everyone is dressed-down and relaxed for the whole day for this course.

Despite the course being exciting and fun, I am still quite stressed out - partly due to the up-coming ChFC exam for Module 08, which we were told to create a presentation by using the 9 topics that have been discussed, our exam is just few days away, I need to get the whole presentation up and running at least by this weekend, exam date is 13th & 14th August. And another matter which pressuring me is the lack of time for my SOP completion this month, when I return to office on Friday, I have exactly another 14 working days to make it possible. I am quite worried, I won't be able to achieve this month. So much work, so little time... 1 day 24 hours seems never enough for me...

Whatever and however it goes, I shall strive my best and fight till the end!

The only place for human race...

2007-08-06T22:26:00.000+08:00

Finished work at about 6pm plus today then hubby brought me to a private clinic.

I am having a kind of irritating itchiness on my arms & legs which caused rashes because of allergy. Doctor said I must've 'contaminated' some polluted rain water and dust in the air to get this allergy. I have been having this allergy for about 4 - 5 days already... The itchiness is so intense that I scratched my arms and legs till it turned all red... but the funny thing is that, there isn’t any scratch mark.

I am a cleanliness-obsessed woman, I have high level of hygienic practice and take 2 showers a day (at least!), and one must be very suspicion about my cleanliness when I have rashes like this... But as the matter of fact, according to my doctor, it doesn't matter how clean you are, as long you have very sensitive skin, highly polluted rain water and dust can caused this kind of allergy. And don't worry... This is not contagious.

I have always told people, love the planet! Be environmental friendly! Our planet is sick now and it is getting weaker and weaker, even the rain water and air now can be so polluted that one will get allergy like mine simply by being existing on the planet! How scary could this be? Planet has life, I always believe that. So much damage has been done by the human beings on this planet, now it is 'returning the favors' to us... Extreme climate changes, melting of North & South Pole icebergs, sand storms, increasing sea level, flood... Planet is kicking off a series of 'revenge' now, people! Do not ignore these obvious warnings!

Out of the 8 planets on our galaxy - Mercury, Venus, Mars, Earth, Jupiter, Saturn, Neptune & Uranus (Pluto has been demoted by The International Astronomical Union (IAU) on August 2006), Planet Earth is by far, the ONE AND ONLY planet that suitable for human race to reside. Not until one fine day when astronauts could find another better place for us to 'migrate'.

People, please... LOVE OUR PLANET; IT IS THE ONLY PLACE FOR HUMAN RACE.

Exam is over + 'Flash Point'

2007-08-04T01:38:00.000+08:00

Finally, the exam is over!

I couldn't get up this morning, I slept until hubby awake me... and when I opened my eyes, it was 7.15am!!! My God, we're going to be late today! Well, not exactly we... But my hubby would be late. My working hour starts at 8.30am but his at 8.00am... I am going to make him late! And true enough, because of I... took my sweet time in shower, did my hair, make up and changed, hubby was late for almost 15 mins to work today... *blush* sorry....

Exam started at 4pm, I was in the examination hall as early as 3.30pm... exam was divided in 2 sessions, 1st the theory test from 4pm to 6pm and 2nd multiple choice, from 7.00pm to 9.00pm, but we requested to finish early. My theory part was a disaster, I wrote a lot on the test paper, but at the end, even I couldn't figure out how close or how far I went out of the topic! Whatever I've learned from the course notes seemed so irrelevant during that time! Nothing I memorized come to my mind, so I just wrote whatever I could, based on my common-sense and my best knowledge... *fingers-crossed!* let's pray the marker will at least like my hand-writing and let me pass! Second session, the multiple choice, it was OK, I found it a lot easier than the theory part, let's pray again... this multiple choice session could help me score some good points and push me pass!

Hubby fetched me from down-town at about 7.30pm, we went for dinner and I complained to hubby how difficult the questions were throughout the journey... Hubby just smiled and said, 'the worse is to re-take the test if you fail. Just relax! It’s over now!'... hehe... How could you be so cool at all times? I was panic to death for the test, but hubby's magic words soothed me down! :)

Our dinner lasted about an hour, and then we went to The Mall, Gadong for a HK movie - Flash Point, starring Donnie Yan, Louis Koo, and some 'older' handsome guys... Another great film from HK movie industry, Donnie Yan performed a very unique kind of 'kung fu fighting' called MMA (Mixed Martial Art) in this film, definitely another HK movie that worth my time and money. Louis Koo has a lighter character compared to Donnie Yan in this movie, he was not as 'super' in 'kung fu', but he is a good and determined cop as well, like Donnie Yan. Some of the older stars appeared in this film, like... Collin Chou (the main bad guy named Tony), Ray Lui Leong Wai (Tony's elder brother), Lin Guo Bin (Brother San in the movie)... just to named a few.

I can assure you that, not only will men appreciate this movie; tonight surprisingly a lot of ladies were in the cinema as well... of cos, one of the main reason for us, ladies, to watch this movie is Louis Koo... hehe... He's as cool and handsome as ever. In this movie, he was partnered with one China lady named Fan Bing Bing... Not sure if it is jealousy, I just couldn't find them matching, the lady seems too mature for Louis Koo... In some ways. Well, this is only my personal view, others might see differently.

Time to bed... It is 2.30am now... *yawn* - till tomorrow... Good night!

Official website for the movie: http://www.flashpointthemovie.com/

1st day back in office

2007-08-02T23:31:00.000+08:00

I am so tired now.

My eyes are so heavy and dry.

Screened through about 400 emails in the office today, and attended not less than 5 customers. 1st day returned to the office after a long leave of 3 weeks... Tons of work piling up awaiting for my attention, the scariest part was when I logon to my email all the highlighted subjects of each emails indicate many work is waiting for me... (Hello! Reality!!)

Today, 2nd August returned to the office with a light peach shirt and a pair of new shoes... kicking off my long battles with the SOP (Standard of Performance) again. After those 3 weeks, I have enough rest and fully re-charged, I was all ready to face the new challenges infront of me! Or so I thought?! Sadly, just the end of 1st day... I am totally exhausted and drained out! Our new acting department head briefed me with the new market updates, Forex updates, new promotions of the bank, new upcoming events, trainings.... I counted, this month I only left 16 working days to achieve my SOP, 3-fullday trainings, 2-fullday ChFC 08 classes, 1-half-a-day meeting are lining up, I have diarise these days... Kinda worried if I could achieve my SOP this month... Maybe I should postpone one of the trainings... Let's talk to the Acting head tomorrow!

After a long day at work, I am still awake to finish up my final revision on ChFC 07, the exam is tomorrow - the moment of truth! Hubby keeps encourage me that after tomorrow, I shall be relief a bit and can truly rest for the weekend before heading for another busy week... Hmm... Hubby is always so sweet and supportive... How I love thee!

Better cut the long story short and back to my revision now. Last chapter to go - Trust and Offshore Planning, after this I shall zzz peacefully... Zzz... Zzz...

*So damn sleepy*

'My Wife Is A Gangster 3'

2007-08-01T13:32:00.000+08:00

Hubby and I went for movie last night in Empire Hotel Cinema.

We watched 'My Wife Is A Gangster 3', it is a Korean film, starring Shu Qi, Hong Kong actoress and Lee Beom-Soo, Korean actor.

Shu Qi is the daughter of Master Lim, the head of Hong Kong triad. During an event Shu Qi was humiliated by some 'uncles' of another triad group, to ease her anger, she killed that 'uncle' the very next day. The story started off with Shu Qi running away from Hong Kong to seek asylum in Korea with one Korean Mafia Head who is her father's friend.

In Korea she met her 'tour guide' Lee Beom-Soo, who is an unpopular member of the Korean Mafia Group, he was asked to protect her during her stay. Somehow, her enemies from Hong Kong found her in Korea and stir off a series of assassinations on her. Through the several times of assassinations, we get to see the softer side of Mafia, and this movie gauranteed brings a lot of smile and laughter based on the hilarious intervals.

A good movie not to be missed! Shu Qi looks fantastic in it!!! She's always my Asian heroine!!!

Official website: http://www.showbox.co.kr/gangsterwife3/main.htm

What / Who is Quidam?

2007-07-29T22:20:00.001+08:00

Even since I started this blog, I have got a few of my friends to visit it... Most of them would probe ~ 'What is Quidam?' (pronounced: 'KEY-dahm').

I would like to have a brief explanation of Quidam here, of which the text I extracted from Cirque du Soleil's (Circus of Soleil's, in English) official website. Quidam is an imaginery character in one musical performance. Quidam represents - "he is somebody and he is nobody"... Please see below:

Quidam: a nameless passer-by, a solitary figure lingering on a street corner, a person rushing past. It could be anyone, anybody. Someone coming, going, living in our anonymous society. A member of the crowd, one of the silent majority. The one who cries out, sings and dreams within us all.

This is the "quidam" that Cirque du Soleil is celebrating. A young girl fumes; she has already seen everything there is to see, and her world has lost all meaning. Her anger shatters her little world, and she finds herself in the universe of Quidam. She is joined by a joyful companion as well as another character, more mysterious, who will attempt to seduce her with the marvelous, the unsettling, and the terrifying.

The entire show is imagined by a young girl, named Zoe, who is alienated and ignored by her parents. She dreams up the whimsical world of Quidam in an attempt to escape her sadness, hence I put Quidam: Escape of Sadness. He is anonymous; he is everyone, and, at the same time, he is no one.

You shall see one of the posters for this musical that I posted here. They are performing in many countries but sadly not in Brunei. I am hoping to have a chance to see this musical... so if any of you, by any chance, know that they are around Asia, please give me a buzz :) *wink*

Official website of Cirque du Soleil's: www.cirquedusoleil.com

Brunch @ Empire with Hubby

2007-07-29T19:46:00.000+08:00

It is Sunday today.

I got up at about 10am plus... Last night watched Astro with parents until almost 3am... It is always good to spend time with my folks. Since my brothers are always not at home, I knew that parents really appreciate my presence.

Hubby got up earlier than me today, and my poor hubby waited for almost 2 hours for me to finally got up from bed, shower, make up, choose my clothes and eventually ready to leave parent's home... Hubby is a very cool man, he is always very patient, never rush me into things that I love taking time. Contrary, I am not as cool as him; I am impatient and easily get agitated. I have to thank God for granting such a wonderful man into my life! Like my parents, hubby loves me whole-heartedly... And I know that. Thank you, God!

We went to Li Gong for brunch, today Li Gong has the special promotion for His Majesty's 61st Birthday, special food, special price, and it is BND29.00 nett per person. Hubby loves the chicken cha siu and I love the soup, but unexpectedly, the Shark Fin Soup today is quite disappointing. We had Steam Salmon, Stir-fried Prawn with soy sauce, Chicken Fried Rice, Sea Cucumber with Mixed Vege and lots more main dishes. After the main course, we had dessert; the Pandan Snow Ball in Li Gong is always my favorite. A thin layer of shredded coconut skin with local fragrant Pandan in it... Hmmm! Heaven!!!

We finished the brunch in about 2 hours, and then headed home... Nothing much has been done today... I shall look at my note course soon... and HELL! I am starting work this coming Wednesday, 1st August 2007... My long holiday is finally coming to an end...

*Feeling so helpless*

When is the next holiday?

Mommy's Magic Portion

2007-07-28T16:34:00.000+08:00

Today is Saturday... I have promised myself to study today, since hubby is working and I am all alone at home, I should've plenty of time to catch up with my ChFC 07 revision. But too bad, I fell asleep twice with the course notes lying beside with me! *so ashame*

There are total of 12 topics to read and I am only at chapter 3... I am starting to wonder, how am I going to pass this module???

Hubby and I will be going back home to my parents today... better bring the notes back home to burn mid-night oil. Or shall I drink some Mommy's magic portion in order to pass? Haha!

Mommy has make soup for us... yummy... I missed mommy's soup. On leave for almost a month, I haven't a time to go home and taste mommy's good food! I missed her 西洋菜湯... My mommy is the world's best chef, she has all sort of secret recipes which from time to time, she'll pass on to me... hehe... Am not a great cook as mommy, but time will tell when I could be as great as her, My Super Lady!

I LOVE YOU, MOMMY!

'Invisible Target'

2007-07-27T18:38:00.000+08:00

Last night, hubby and I went for movie Marathon - an activity which we both will do every now and then to pass time.

We watched Simpsons - The Movie and continued with Invisible Target, starring Nicholas Tse, Shawn Yue Man Lok and Jaycee Chan (Jacky Chan's son).

It has been a while since we last watched any HK movie, but I have to give it to the director and crew of Invisible Target, this is indeed one rare HK movie that worth my time and money. This movie fully illustrated to the audience the spirit of HK police and the righteous of one when one strongly holds firm to his believes. Nicholas Tse and Jaycee Chan had shown tremendous improvement in their acting skills, even though Nicholas Tse is still on those ‘I-hate-the-whole-world’ characters, but in this movie he carries a bit of comedy elements in it. And Jaycee Chan, a boy who is too skinny to fight has shown the determination spirit of a police at the end of his role in this film, no matter how painful he is, he didn't let go of the bad guy. This part, I almost have tears in my eyes, Jaycee's pain was so real on his face that I could almost feel it!

Shawn Yue Man Lok, he has been an actor for a while now, but this is definitely the movie that makes me notice him. I have seen quite a few movies starred by him, but nothing compare to this. He has a very strong character in the movie that often keep him distant from others, but somehow due to targeting the same group of bad guys, he, Nicholas Tse and Jaycee Chan became good friends and he was moved by Jaycee's determination to arrest the bad guy that he even cried! This part of the movie shows that, no matter how strong / cool a man is, he still has a sentimental side!

This is a Benny Chan's movie. Go and watch it, if you haven't!

A film that you shouldn't missed!

Official website: http://www.invisibletarget.com/

Friendship

2007-07-27T17:38:00.000+08:00

It is raining again outside. I've lost count of the number of days Brunei has been raining... This kind of groomy weather often makes me reminisce the good 'ol days - when friendship was the biggest part of my life.

Suddenly, I think of 2 close friends of mine. They are both my long time friends of more than 10 years. We have a lot of good and bad times together in the past - we laughed, we cried together, even for the tiniest things in life. Sharing so much wonderful moments together and listened to each other's happiness and sadness. But today, everything has changed...

I do not know the reason why we drifted apart and I couldn't find a satisfied answer to this situation, deep in my heart I always wonder if they will miss or even think about me just for 1 second? I tried to call them to set up gathering, but once, twice... numerous times they rejected me, are they really so busy with they own life, or there is something along the way of our friendship went wrong without I realising? Or to the 2 of them, we have never been close friends before? Those were only my fantasies alone? What went wrong? I keep asking myself...

All of us have our own life to live, we all have to juggle between work and family, it is indeed difficult; but, I never agree this is a reason / excuse to seclude any friendships. I have been trying, to mend every broken piece of our friendships with the 2 of them, but till today, I still see no clue. Hubby advised me that - Why should I priorities them, if I am just their options? But I argued with hubby that - in a friendship, we shouldn't look at who's wrong or right, we should be honest to our own feelings towards the other party; until this very moment, the 2 of them still stand a special part in my life, I still geniunely care for their wellbeings. As long they're living a happy & contented life - with / without me, it doesn't matter, if they are OK to live on without me, I shall wish them all the best and I sincerely hope happiness will bestow them and those they loved. As for me, I will continue to live my life, reminiscing those good times they once brought to my life and I am thankful to God that, He has once allowed these 2 wonderful ladies shared part of my life.

May the love and light of God shine upon the 2 of you... wherever you are....

Chain-saw & Trees

2007-07-26T10:52:00.001+08:00

"You are allowed to open the test paper now and read through it, but do not write anything on it until I say so..." says the examiner.

"I wonder what's the questions they have today... Standard Deviation? Economic Analysis?" I thought to myself as I flipped open the first page of the test paper.

Suddenly I heard a loud noise, "Damn! Who's making that loud noise with a chain-saw" I am annoyed. "Chain-saw? How could someone bring a chain-saw into the examination hall?" Then the loud noise again!

Slowly, I opened up my eyes... "Where am I?". Lying on my bed, wild awake and annoyed, I saw the ChFC 07 course notes sitting beside me... Suddenly, I realised... "Damn! It was a dream! But I almost get to see the questions on the paper!!!"

Upset with the continuous high-pitch loud noise from the chain-saw that spoiled my dream, I got up from the bed and opened up the curtain to see what the hell is going on!?

As I opened up the curtain, I was surprised to see a few workers trying very hard to carry a tree trunk up the pick-up car... "what happened to those trees that were lining up infront of my windows? Ah! Maybe they finally realised that the tree branches are knocking on our roof whenever the wind blows!" Excited by the scene, I stand at the window to supervise the workers. Again, I hear the chain-saw loud noise, they're cutting down yet another tree at the corner of the garder, and like the previous one, once the tree is down, all of them gathered around the tree and pull it up to the pick-up car to send it away. This action continue for a few hours, as I on and off supervise their work... Now next door garden seems rather empty, as the trees are gone and the workers are picking up the remainder of branches from the ground. I suddenly have a sense of emptiness...

I still couldn't figure out why they decided to chop down the trees, but whatever it is, it is their decision. I am amazed to see how fast the trees are being pulled down and sent away... but God knows how many years it took for the trees to grow this tall and strong. The workers are now resting and having their lunch, wouldn't they have a slight feel of sadness and emptiness? I do not know about them... but I do.

The chain-saw sits quietly next to one of the workers... it has ended up the precious life of these trees. In a world of nature, if the trees and chain-saw talk... would the trees scream in pain, "please spare my life! please don't kill me!"...

Exam coming soon...

2007-07-26T00:04:00.000+08:00

The rain has not stopped since 6pm... it is cold but I have no intention of lowering down the air-conditionining; I just want the extreme temperature in the bedroom to keep me awake.

Today I started my preparation for ChFC 07 examination, I have another 8 days to do my revision until the examination day itself - well, should've started earlier! This module is rather difficult, or is it me that hard to focus on the studies?

On leave since 10th July till now, I am getting lazy... but I can't let myself go. I must be strong and study hard for this exam, afterall, this is Module 7 already... 1 more module to go, I'll be a Chartered Financial Consultant. This is indeed a hard journey, but I am heading the end now... I can't give up! Theory, calculations, theory and calculations again... I am cracking my brain!!

I am feeling a little sick today, sore throat and a light flu, guess the cold weather is catching up with my health now. I always feel cold lately, need to carry a shawl around the house even when out for dinner with hubby... my throat is dry, this is the symptom I'll get if fever is coming up... Hubby insisted to bring me to clinic, but I refused, guessed I am as stubborn as him... Hubby is experiencing backache this few days, but refused to go hospital as well! Haha! We are indeed a match from heaven!

Better stop dreaming now and get back to my revision... Standard deviation, wealth management, wealth accumulation planning, basic WM skills, economic alanysis, portfolio management & asset allocation, derivatives... Ahhhh,.... so much more to learn~ God, please open up my heart and mind, so that I can focus 100% on my revision, Amen!