今晚, 在收音機裡聽到了一首戴佩妮的舊歌 - "怎樣".
回家後, 立刻上網, 在Youtube搜尋了一會兒. 找到了.
接下來的那一個小時裡, 不停的都在聽著這一首歌, 每當歌手唱到 "如果, 我們現在還在一起會是怎樣? 我們是不是還是深愛著對方? 像開始時那樣, 握著手就算天快亮?" 我很不由自主的會閉上眼睛, 一些往事會一幕一幕的閃過, 那些都是跟你的片段. 我突然明白對這首歌莫明而來的供鳴是對你的思念...
分手也快將十年, 一直以來我都逃避任何與你有關的消息, 壓抑著自己盡量不去想起和你一起的種種快樂. 然而, 這一首歌一開始唱就把整顆心給牽回到當年的佈景, 好像一套舞台劇將要上演... 道具, 燈光及音樂是這麼的熟悉但卻那麼的遙遠. 現在, 我已不再是台上的花旦, 這一切一切已離我太遠了, 我只好充當觀眾來看這一場沒有好結果的經典.
如果, 我只是說如果... 我和你從來都沒認識過, 我現在的日子會是怎樣?
如果, 我也只是說如果... 我和你現在還在一起, 我們的日子又會是怎樣?
兩個本來很熟悉的人, 突然變成了陌路人... 兩個本來朝夕相對的人, 突然各分東西... 剛相愛時, 你我也沒想到結局會是分開; 都說好要天長地久, 長相廝守, 但雙方都遵守不了這一份承諾. 說過的話已不算數了, 答應過的都可以忘掉了! 那些年, 如果你問我有否開心過? 不瞞你說... 這麼多年在一起, 沒有快樂的時候是騙你的... 但可悲的是不開心的事實在太多, 多的連那僅有的一丁點快樂也完全被淹蓋了. 所以, 分手成了我最終的決定.
我知道這一切都不會重來... 坦白說, 我也沒有任何意願想重來. 但請讓我保留這一點點想念你的權力, 不是還愛你, 而是感謝你曾經陪我走過那一段路, 也感謝你肯把我放開, 好讓我能碰到現在的這位他... 謝謝你.
你的前妻供勉之...
Monday, December 13, 2010
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Back to reality... (after Chinese New Year)
The much anticipated Chinese New Year had come and go with a blink of eyes, last weekend it was the Chap Goh Meh (the 15th day of CNY), and it marked the end of the Chinese New Year's celebrations and our normal routines start again.
Returning to reality, starting normal working / schooling hours, traffic jams, meetings, deadlines, trainings, appointments... the list can go on and on... everyone is going back to their normal practise to work hard for a living. During the passed 2 weeks, the world seemed to have stop turning, most of the people were indulging themselves in the spirit of the holidays and whatever that could be put on hold were being put on hold. Nothing is more important to enjoy the New Year and spend time with the family.
I returned to work on the 4th day of Chinese New Year, according to my Chinese zodiac, it was the most auspicious day this year for a Snake to start work... Not being superstitious, but since I have read it somewhere, might as well just practise it; at least with this, I'll always believe that I have had a good start this New Year, and whatever comes my way can only be fortunate and properous.
All well, ends well. I am very Chinese about it.
Returning to reality, starting normal working / schooling hours, traffic jams, meetings, deadlines, trainings, appointments... the list can go on and on... everyone is going back to their normal practise to work hard for a living. During the passed 2 weeks, the world seemed to have stop turning, most of the people were indulging themselves in the spirit of the holidays and whatever that could be put on hold were being put on hold. Nothing is more important to enjoy the New Year and spend time with the family.
I returned to work on the 4th day of Chinese New Year, according to my Chinese zodiac, it was the most auspicious day this year for a Snake to start work... Not being superstitious, but since I have read it somewhere, might as well just practise it; at least with this, I'll always believe that I have had a good start this New Year, and whatever comes my way can only be fortunate and properous.
All well, ends well. I am very Chinese about it.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Year of Tiger
It's Saturday, 13th Feb 2010, my 33rd Chinese New Year's eve.
Chinese New Year is the biggest celebrations of the Chinese community in everywhere of the world, as long as Chinese people can be found. Everyone is rushing here and there to buy staff for their home, getting new clothes done, trying out new shoes, cleaning their houses... So much so to be done, and the spirit of the celebrations is at its peak.
I will always look forward for Chinese New Year's celebrations, this is the time we need no other reasons to be with our family... spending time with each other and even just being at home with everyone around, not going anywhere can feel oh-so-right. This time of the year, my Mommy will definitely be the busiest at home, cleaning, cooking, preparing, washing... so much for Mommy to do... everyone will be home for the reunion dinner tonight, those overseas, those work far away... the feeling of anticipating tonight's dinner is so good... knowing that we will soon meet up with cousins that we haven't seen for a long time, uncles and aunties that we have missed.
After the dinner tonight, we will have our private fire-crackers & fire-works show in the compound outside my uncle's house in Seria. Everyone will be excited, waiting for my brother Nam & cousin Hung to get things ready and all the bad luck and negative energy that came with us since the year before will be blew up high in the sky and explode together with the fire works... shatter into tiny little sparks that light up the night sky, then disappear into thin air... we'll start a new year with all positive and auspicious energy...!
This year, the year of Tiger. According to the Chinese horoscope, this will be a busy year for me, lots of new area to be explored in work, and lots of new responsibility which will better my experience. And in love life, married couple will enjoy abundance romance and sweet time together... but even without this saying, I know that Honey and I have always been a couple that envied by lots of people... :) Health wise, this year need to watch out of all the frequent dine-out and indigestion... go slow, lite and go-green will be the strategies for now :) Being a Snake, Tiger year definitely bring me more power to fly higher! This year, I have set myself certain target at work that I will achieve, like I always say, nothing is impossible! Even it is something new to do, I learn as a I go... these experiences are something that no one can take away from me.
Allow me to quote a sentence that I read from the book titled "Shame" by Jasvinder Sanghera lately, "Speak what you want because once you've sown that seed you can work towards it". One must always have dreams to work on, dream is something that will keeps us moving on... a person without dreams it's like a spirit stuck in a zombie body. I know that my dream of being successful is taking me step-by-step closer to it, I want it and I will get it.
A New Year, a new me... I wanted only the best to happen to myself and I choose to live my life this positive way. May the energy of heaven and earth empowered me to complete this year of Tiger with lots of determinations and strong wills, to make all this possible!
Chinese New Year is the biggest celebrations of the Chinese community in everywhere of the world, as long as Chinese people can be found. Everyone is rushing here and there to buy staff for their home, getting new clothes done, trying out new shoes, cleaning their houses... So much so to be done, and the spirit of the celebrations is at its peak.
I will always look forward for Chinese New Year's celebrations, this is the time we need no other reasons to be with our family... spending time with each other and even just being at home with everyone around, not going anywhere can feel oh-so-right. This time of the year, my Mommy will definitely be the busiest at home, cleaning, cooking, preparing, washing... so much for Mommy to do... everyone will be home for the reunion dinner tonight, those overseas, those work far away... the feeling of anticipating tonight's dinner is so good... knowing that we will soon meet up with cousins that we haven't seen for a long time, uncles and aunties that we have missed.
After the dinner tonight, we will have our private fire-crackers & fire-works show in the compound outside my uncle's house in Seria. Everyone will be excited, waiting for my brother Nam & cousin Hung to get things ready and all the bad luck and negative energy that came with us since the year before will be blew up high in the sky and explode together with the fire works... shatter into tiny little sparks that light up the night sky, then disappear into thin air... we'll start a new year with all positive and auspicious energy...!
This year, the year of Tiger. According to the Chinese horoscope, this will be a busy year for me, lots of new area to be explored in work, and lots of new responsibility which will better my experience. And in love life, married couple will enjoy abundance romance and sweet time together... but even without this saying, I know that Honey and I have always been a couple that envied by lots of people... :) Health wise, this year need to watch out of all the frequent dine-out and indigestion... go slow, lite and go-green will be the strategies for now :) Being a Snake, Tiger year definitely bring me more power to fly higher! This year, I have set myself certain target at work that I will achieve, like I always say, nothing is impossible! Even it is something new to do, I learn as a I go... these experiences are something that no one can take away from me.
Allow me to quote a sentence that I read from the book titled "Shame" by Jasvinder Sanghera lately, "Speak what you want because once you've sown that seed you can work towards it". One must always have dreams to work on, dream is something that will keeps us moving on... a person without dreams it's like a spirit stuck in a zombie body. I know that my dream of being successful is taking me step-by-step closer to it, I want it and I will get it.
A New Year, a new me... I wanted only the best to happen to myself and I choose to live my life this positive way. May the energy of heaven and earth empowered me to complete this year of Tiger with lots of determinations and strong wills, to make all this possible!
Friday, November 13, 2009
If today is the end of the world...
Lately, the movie '2012' has become a great hit among our friends, everyone is talking about how great and how breath-taking each catastrophe scene in the movie is.
I went to watch the movie last night, truly it is one of the movies that you don’t want to missed. The special effects and technology arrangements of the movies are great, but I find it not ‘deep’ enough, deep as in the feelings and emotions of each characters, it couldn’t impact too much on me, and it is the END OF THE WORLD that we are talking about here! Unlike the late 1990’s classics – TITANIC, with only an event that happened within one night, it makes me remember for life, and mind you, TITANIC is a movie that I’ve watched 17 times, and still find it captivating…
According to the ancient prophecy by Michel Nostradamus, December 20, 2012 will be end of the world. What is the first thing that come to your mind when a person mention to you 'end of the world'? Most of us will think of something very physical - the pain that we have to go through, the blood that we will shed. What about feelings? What about emotions? And what about spiritual?
If today is the end of the world, what do you want to do? Do you still want to go on chasing the dreams – money & fame that you have been chasing all these years? Do you still want to go on delaying telling that special someone you love him/her, thinking that you’ll still have a chance to do so tomorrow? Or do you still want to go on telling your parents that you do not have time to have a meal with them, because of the never-finish deadlines and works?
I am not trying to make you pessimistic about the future or trying to send out negative energy that will make you worried or panic. You and me, everyone in this world, we have always been taking life for granted, thinking that we’ll have chance to do what we always wanted to do tomorrow hence keep procrastinating some events in life that we will regret forever if tomorrow never comes. Life is short, why live it with regrets?
Come on, people… End of the world might or might not come, but why wait till then to treasure those we love? Tell them now, and show them now, how much they mean to you… Like I said, life is short, live life to its fullness, even if today is really the end of the world, your family, spouse or that special someone knows that you love them dearly, there’ll be nothing for them to regret living this life with you… Don’t you think so?
- Sunday, 15 November 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
生活
最近有點累, 是那忙碌的生活節奏吧!
真希望有時間能停下來好好的欣賞身邊的風景. 好好的用心去聽完那首未完的歌.
終於望到了... 終於我得拿假期, 遠離工作, 把壓力暫時放下, 全心全意的讓心身休息... 可悲的是, 我所要拿的是十天的病假. 不到病了也不願意停下腳步, 生活真的那麼委曲嗎?? 事實非也, 只是自己一直不願放慢腳步, 害怕緩慢的腳步會令自己錯失了最精彩的.
最精彩的往往就只有曇花一現, 為了這一分追尋的榮耀, 身心, 精神也透支了.
這一趟被逼住院檢查及進行一項小手術, 我看也該趁著這時候好好的休息一會兒. 歇一歇只為了往後要走更遠, 更長的路程.
薇 - 2009/四月九日
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