Something happened yesterday evening, which I thought would worth recording down.
This event involves my colleague - S and me.
Since I joined the bank 1½ years ago, S has been a buddy to me, she has been teaching and coaching me how to handle customers, how to handle objections, how to do research for investment, how to use some of the software... and many more. I deeply appreciated S for being there all the time to give a helping hand. No doubt, she smoothened my career path in the earlier days.
But 6 months into my career with the bank, something happened that makes me started to wonder the genuineness of S for helping me through all these difficulties and why she always 'bitch' about our other colleagues in front of me? After some long and deep observations over the months, I have came to a conclusion that, S is in fact not a 'real helper', she helped me all this while is just to proved to our boss that she's 'concerned', 'love sharing' and 'care for' her colleagues but as reality always has it... It doesn't take too long till I and others see her true colors.
A minor case happened in the office yesterday, it all spurred up because of a decent joke we have in the office. S was so upset that she refused to talk to me and even look at me. The whole yesterday afternoon, she has been showing her long face to me. As a straight forward person, I couldn't take this kind of cold shoulder for too long. Before the end of the day, I told S that, we need to talk!
We were in a meeting room, deep in my heart, I have got several things that need clarification from S so I opened up the topic by asking her to tell me what's going on with her? She was caught off-guard by my frankness and bluntness, she was shocked and I could see that she was shivering. She kept insisting that it wasn't me that she was mad about, but another of our male colleague has humiliated her during our joke and she really hates this male colleague, and she couldn't say anything because she felt so hurt of the joke he put her through. Then I asked her, if she was mad about our male colleague, then why am I feeling the hatred and sorrow coming towards me? And I even saw her talking to this male colleague like usual, like nothing has ever happened? She said she was too upset to even want to shout at him or even scold him... Then I think to myself, so you express all your anger on me instead??
After we settled this incident, just to clear the air once and for all, I confronted her few lies which I picked from her along the way, of which I never disclosed to her that I knew the fact. When I asked her about the lies, she diverted my attention to other colleagues, including our boss and one of the senior staff in the company (Ms O), and asked me not to trust anyone in the company! She even invited me to shake-hand and make peace with her, but I rejected her by simply telling her that, I have lost all trust in her, a hand-shake to make peace is a no-no for now. Then she wanted us to start building the trust again... I told her... She must show me how to trust her? And help me to see that she is genuinely sincere in building a team with me here, otherwise it is very difficult for us to work together again!
I never like to back-stab anyone. If anyone disagrees with me, please, come out to the light and tell me straight off! I am pretty sure that I taught her a valuable lesson yesterday, because she promised me that, even if she is being unfair to others, she would never be unfair to me - To this, I am only trusting her for 10%, because I told her that I need time to build back that trust that she has ruined. And in order for me to befriend her again like the old days, she really got to 'behave' and work hard to earn a trusty friendship with me. Someone like her can be quite pathetic in times, I couldn't figure out why is she doing all these and plotting all kinds of lies just to put others down? Maybe she is trying to protect herself... or maybe due to some historical incident; she has lost confidence in handling a genuine friendship... I have no idea. But anyhow, she could mess with anyone with her chronic attitude problem and lying habits, but she never tries to mess with me again!
Call me an activist or a fighter; I am as blunt as I could be, I have nothing to hide! This is one of benefits of being honest and open...
I am always the louder one when it comes to arguments, because I don't lie!!!
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