感激再遇見...

沒想到一次的機緣巧合你我竟再重遇.

 

經過了這麼多年, 好多東西都應該面目全非. 感情本來就是這樣的奧妙, 分開了這麼多年那些感覺說回來就回來.

 

剛開始的時候, 你我都像老朋友一樣, 只想看看對方過得好不好. 你和她快樂嗎? 我和我的他幸福的很. 畢竟, 認識了二十多年,  在我年輕時的歲月裏面, 太多回憶有你的影子. 但故事聊開了之後, 我們都覺得錯過太多, 該遺憾的也太多.

 

錯過了時間.
錯過了這段感情.
錯過了所有的承諾.
錯過了終生廝守.

 

遺憾我的不辭而別.
遺憾我們不懂得好好珍惜.
遺憾我倆當時沒有勇氣.
遺憾我們當作毫無所謂.

 

現在, 再談感情也只是多此一舉. 如果值得珍惜的話, 當時就不會輕易放棄. 如果當時已決定不再繼續留守, 是因為我們都想把它留給回憶. 現在就不該因寂寞而讓它重新燃點. 有句俗語説, '有些事情在回憶裏是最美的 ', 我想永遠都儲存這一份美麗, 不想因為任何原因醜化了它. 我相信有一天你會感謝我今天的決定.

 

無論你我身邊是誰, 請讓我保存這一點美麗. 在往後的歲月裡每當想起你, 我依然是可以笑得很甜, 因為你帶給我的曾經是多么的美好.

 

 

你的號碼

手機裡一直都存放著一個電話號碼, 一個我永遠都不會再打出的電話號碼.

我問了自己好多遍,還有這樣的需要嗎? 手機都換了八台, 八台完全不同牌子, 不同功能, 一台比一台先進, 一台比一台優秀！ 但我始終如一, 始終沒有勇氣把你的號碼刪除. 好害怕連唯一能找到你的途徑也沒了, 我知道這又是我自欺欺人的一面, 總是天真的以為祇要還留著你的一點一滴, 以前的一切都有可能再延續...

其實, 靠這一個號碼聯繫著的思念, 呼吸, 回憶和愛是何等的薄弱. 輕的不堪一擊, 輕的一點也動彈不得, 似乎在秋天落下的黃葉, 被微風一吹就將身首異處, 無再落地歸根的機會. 我和你曾經擁有的一切, 現在也就剩下這一個號碼, 它是我們相愛過的證據, 它是我們記憶的泉源... 最重要的是, 它是我這些年來還能為你而任性的僅有理由.

等... 等我在那一天能再打給你的時候, 聽筒裡還會是你那熟悉, 溫暖的聲音嗎? 又或者, 你早就在分手的那一年把號碼換了... 這些年來都只有我孤軍作戰, 一個人在延續, 一個人在掙扎......?

Merry Christmas (Year 2011)

Today at 8:00am (Paris time), we safely landed Paris Orly Airport. The anticipation that built overnight on board of D720 is coming to a peak! After the immigration check-point clearance, we collected the baggage from carousel no. 2, then off we went with one Peugeot taxi to the Paris Centre.

Everything is so fresh and posh, even the taxi also using expensive continental car - Well, at least to our standard. Taxi fare cost us Euro30.00, the journey from Orly Airport to hotel + 2 pcs of is the luggage (Euro1.00 each).

Slightly after 9:00am, we arrived at Adagio Paris Tour Eiffel. Something that really worth me remembering of this trip is the warmth and friendly welcome that we received at the reception area, and a special highlight to the hotel - they ask no deposit for our room at all - room charges are all paid for before the trip. Usually in most Asian countries, even we have paid of all the room charges, they'll still ask for a minimum charge of at least a hundred a night (we have met one ridiculous one in HK, that actually ask for full payment of room charges + full amount of deposit!!), so this is really a pleasant surprise! - Well done, Adagio management!!

After a quick shower and rest, Honey and I went of to Rue du Theater, that's where our aparthotel is located, we walked around... it is a very quiet and peaceful residential neighborhood. Even though most of the shops are closed due to Noel, but we can see there are places to eat - Western / Eastern, place for groceries and pharmacies - quite complete. We came into this Chinese Restaurant which runs by a Chinese immigrant, he serves no-too-bad Chinese food! Well, how much we can ask for right? Chinese food in France! Being away from home, we feel really warmth seeing Chinese food & rice!! Hehe... Like I always say, I am very Chinese when come to food! We ordered 2 plates of rice - Honey had the Caramel Pork while I had Onion Stirred Fried Beef and, 2 pcs of fried pork spring rolls + 4 'ha gau' - as expected it is not cheap to have Chinese food in France - total bill cost Euro15.00 (almost BND26.00). But still, it settled our craving of rice! :)

After much walking, seeing that the shops are closed and nothing much to be explored here today, we hop on to a taxi and headed to the world's famous - Champ Elysees!

- 25/12/2011 (Sunday) @ Brioche Doree Cafe (one Parisian style cafe in Champ Elysees)

Christmas Eve (Year 2011)

A special Christmas Eve it is. Without fancy dress and make-up, Honey and I are at our traveling gear, getting ready to board AirAsia X D720 to Paris, France.

I have promised myself, for at least once in my life time, I will set my footprints on the Parisian soil, guess I am making it happen now... How excited!

So much so of the preparation - early purchase of air tickets (as early as March!), gone through the trouble of getting the visitors' visa approved, monitoring of the Euro rate to convert my BND and also not forgetting the thousand of hotels review that we have read through in the internet before settling down to 2 hotels... I know all of these are behind us now. We are finally here... Heading to the City of Lights, our dream trip.

We are now close to 3 hours to departure, at 10:05pm (now!), my heart is raving fast, anticipation is high as to what to expect of the very first French morning would brings? :)

Till my next update... Merry Christmas to all! :))

- 24/12/2011 (Saturday) @ LCCT International Departure Hall

思潮 . 神經

曾經很固執的認為愛一個人, 只要自己用心的去經營, 那一段感情就會開花結果. 愛一個人不是應該不在乎一切嗎? 盡能力的去愛, 甚至愛到遍體鱗傷也覺得自己是偉大的! 但現在的我卻相信愛情是沒有絕對的, 你努力的去愛, 並不代表對方就一定要為你張開雙臂. 他可以毫無理由的拒絕你, 甚至對你不加理睬也沒罪. 在這樣的情況下, 你再不舍得放手, 也只是坦然!

勉強的維持一段感情只會讓雙方都更痛苦, 學習放手, 也學習放開, 生活肯定會活的更精彩. 但天生固執的我, 要愛了好多回和用了好多年的時間才領悟到這個道理. 放開手不再去愛那位心愛的人, 固然是一件好難, 好痛的事, 就連這樣一個念頭都足以讓你心酸. 真式的去做時該以什麼樣的心情和該預備多少的勇氣? 很多時侯不舍的放開的並不是那位你認為不能失去的人, 而是和他所經過的一切, 是他給你的回憶, 好的, 壞的, 你都不想放棄. 因為這一些回憶填滿了你所有的思潮, 你歡喜, 哀傷的神經...

虛榮心

熙熙攘攘的生活填滿了人們毫無至盡的“虛榮心”, 這種所為的“虛榮心”並不只限制於物質上, 在感情世界裡, 戀人對彼此的“虛榮心”更是無窮無盡的. 當一段感情剛開始時, 大家都以毫無期望的心態起步, 無私的為對方付出, 無私的默默承受一切 , 只要他快樂, 你都在所不惜.

剛開始萌芽的愛情是多麼的甜蜜但卻那麼的脆弱, 彼此都相信對方就是自己所要找的另一半, 在他身上你仿佛看到了自己, 不停的自問, 這世上怎會有一個人的性格跟自己這麼相近? 他的性格真的與你這麼像似嗎? 還是這一切都是他為了要取悦你而擬造出來的假象?

相信幸福

幸福雖然並非必然, 但想要擁有其實一點不難.

一對相愛的夫妻, 一段平凡的婚姻, 幸福就不過是如此.

它不須要華麗的裝設, 也不須要浮誇的諾言, 一切都盡在不言中. 你如絲般的溫柔與呵護, 境讓我受寵若驚. 你一再的努力表現自己, 讓我的驚喜一次比一次更大... 讓我相信愛能克服任何障礙... 讓我知道只有堅持去相信, 幸福就在身邊...

我的生活迎進了七彩, 你曾說過不讓黑白填滿我的人生! 你牽引著我一步一腳印的畫出我倆的未來, 而你寬厚的肩膀是這般的可靠及能令我安心. 我就這麼相信你, 就把我雙眼給矇上, 我也絕不會對你的方向判斷有所懷疑. 矇上雙眼的我就只靠你的牽引而找到方向, 不須要多問, 我倆的終點總會一致.

幸福就是相信, 相信自己最早的決定, 也相信為對方所做的一切.

幸福其實就在你手中, 一切都在於你肯不肯選擇去相信它的存在...

Year 2010 Christmas Trip - Seoul (Part 3)

Believe it or not? I was so excited about this trip and truly enjoying myself until I totally forgot to update this journal. These two days hubby and have been experiencing a lot of fantastic thing that we don't get to in Brunei. On the night of 27/12/2010, hubby and I felt the very first time playing in the snow. We were shopping at Dongdaemun, and halfway through it, as we were entering one shopping mall, the snow started to land softly on our face then our hands... Our coats and eventually all over us. Hubby and I were like little kids, running and trying to catch that tiny softness that felt like nothing at all! The snow got heavier as we were playing, the roads that once black and dark suddenly turned all glistening white, everywhere was white and cold... People running trying to avoid the snow, because it was really heavy. The temperature that night reached a freezing of at lease 15 degree celcius! The feeling of having that little white softness stopped and melted on our face are something that can't be described by words... This is a longing since childhood for hubby and I.... Finally, it came true!

I have to admit that this trip is rather draining, as we do a lot of walking around. Most Bruneian would agree with me that in our country, we usually move around in a car, the idea of walking that one kilometere is killing. These few days I have walked miles and miles, but good thing is, I don't feel hot or sweaty at all... How wonderful is it to live in a cold country like Seoul! Last night, Hubby and I went to Myeongdong, it was a large area where we spent hours shopping and looking around. The roads were filled with snow and because of the low temperature, now has turned on to ice and formed this icy slippery surface that make us quite hard to balance ourselves when walking. I fell down once when shopping in Myeongdong, it was very painful, but thank goodness no one know me there, so can totally cut the embarrassment! Haha!

Hubby is a little under the whether since reached Seoul. The left side of his cheek is swollen... We went to the Pharmacy to bought some medicine, the thing is, all of the labels are printed in Korean! How on earth are we going to understand? Hence we think better to see a doctor, yesterday morning we went to Beseto clinic to let a dentist checked on hubby, dentist claimed that very likely due to the bad cavity that's why hubby's face is swelling. He prescribed some antibiotics to Hubby... Hubby has been taking it since yesterday, but we are yet to see major improvement, hopefully he will be better soon so that he can be like me, enjoying himself too during this trip. Till then...  

Year 2010 Christmas Trip - Seoul (Part 2)

Spent the last 2 days in KL was fun even though tiring. We have done and seen much. Little things were bought this trip, knowing that we still have a big trip ahead of us, we do not wish to add on anymore unnecessary weight to the already-heavy luggage. We are now having breakfast at Coffee Club on Bukit Bintang which is a brand new Western outlet near to Piccolo Hotel, we had our Christmas night supper here, too. The food is off quality, but I find it a little pricey compare with the normal places, but well, it's Bukit Bintang, what else can we ask for? We are all set and ready for the flight this afternoon... The next update will be when we reach Seoul! Anyohiseyo, Seoul!!

4:15pm... And I thought next update will be in Seoul! Haha! We waited for a good 3 hours on the check-in line due to computer faulty! Just imagine, we've been standing up for this long! Crazy!! Finally, we are now on board and flying off to Seoul. Honey and I are extremely hungry and thirsty, just wish that the stewardess will serve food and drinks soon. Flight delayed for 2 hours... We will be arriving in Seoul in about 6 hours and 20 mins, it should then almost 11 pm.

Year 2010 Christmas Trip - Seoul (Part 1)

24th Dec, hubby and I are now on board AirAsia, heading KL! The trip of many months preparations and anticipation is finally here! We are sitting at the very last row of the air craft, no. 31E and F.

怎樣

今晚, 在收音機裡聽到了一首戴佩妮的舊歌 - "怎樣".

回家後, 立刻上網, 在Youtube搜尋了一會兒. 找到了.

接下來的那一個小時裡, 不停的都在聽著這一首歌, 每當歌手唱到 "如果, 我們現在還在一起會是怎樣? 我們是不是還是深愛著對方? 像開始時那樣, 握著手就算天快亮?" 我很不由自主的會閉上眼睛, 一些往事會一幕一幕的閃過, 那些都是跟你的片段. 我突然明白對這首歌莫明而來的供鳴是對你的思念...

分手也快將十年, 一直以來我都逃避任何與你有關的消息, 壓抑著自己盡量不去想起和你一起的種種快樂. 然而, 這一首歌一開始唱就把整顆心給牽回到當年的佈景, 好像一套舞台劇將要上演... 道具, 燈光及音樂是這麼的熟悉但卻那麼的遙遠. 現在, 我已不再是台上的花旦, 這一切一切已離我太遠了, 我只好充當觀眾來看這一場沒有好結果的經典.

如果, 我只是說如果... 我和你從來都沒認識過, 我現在的日子會是怎樣?
如果, 我也只是說如果... 我和你現在還在一起, 我們的日子又會是怎樣?

兩個本來很熟悉的人, 突然變成了陌路人... 兩個本來朝夕相對的人, 突然各分東西... 剛相愛時, 你我也沒想到結局會是分開; 都說好要天長地久, 長相廝守, 但雙方都遵守不了這一份承諾. 說過的話已不算數了, 答應過的都可以忘掉了! 那些年, 如果你問我有否開心過? 不瞞你說... 這麼多年在一起, 沒有快樂的時候是騙你的... 但可悲的是不開心的事實在太多, 多的連那僅有的一丁點快樂也完全被淹蓋了. 所以, 分手成了我最終的決定.

我知道這一切都不會重來... 坦白說, 我也沒有任何意願想重來. 但請讓我保留這一點點想念你的權力, 不是還愛你, 而是感謝你曾經陪我走過那一段路, 也感謝你肯把我放開, 好讓我能碰到現在的這位他... 謝謝你.

你的前妻供勉之...

Back to reality... (after Chinese New Year)

The much anticipated Chinese New Year had come and go with a blink of eyes, last weekend it was the Chap Goh Meh (the 15th day of CNY), and it marked the end of the Chinese New Year's celebrations and our normal routines start again.

Returning to reality, starting normal working / schooling hours, traffic jams, meetings, deadlines, trainings, appointments... the list can go on and on... everyone is going back to their normal practise to work hard for a living. During the passed 2 weeks, the world seemed to have stop turning, most of the people were indulging themselves in the spirit of the holidays and whatever that could be put on hold were being put on hold. Nothing is more important to enjoy the New Year and spend time with the family.

I returned to work on the 4th day of Chinese New Year, according to my Chinese zodiac, it was the most auspicious day this year for a Snake to start work... Not being superstitious, but since I have read it somewhere, might as well just practise it; at least with this, I'll always believe that I have had a good start this New Year, and whatever comes my way can only be fortunate and properous.

All well, ends well. I am very Chinese about it.

Year of Tiger

It's Saturday, 13th Feb 2010, my 33rd Chinese New Year's eve.

Chinese New Year is the biggest celebrations of the Chinese community in everywhere of the world, as long as Chinese people can be found. Everyone is rushing here and there to buy staff for their home, getting new clothes done, trying out new shoes, cleaning their houses... So much so to be done, and the spirit of the celebrations is at its peak.

I will always look forward for Chinese New Year's celebrations, this is the time we need no other reasons to be with our family... spending time with each other and even just being at home with everyone around, not going anywhere can feel oh-so-right. This time of the year, my Mommy will definitely be the busiest at home, cleaning, cooking, preparing, washing... so much for Mommy to do... everyone will be home for the reunion dinner tonight, those overseas, those work far away... the feeling of anticipating tonight's dinner is so good... knowing that we will soon meet up with cousins that we haven't seen for a long time, uncles and aunties that we have missed.

After the dinner tonight, we will have our private fire-crackers & fire-works show in the compound outside my uncle's house in Seria. Everyone will be excited, waiting for my brother Nam & cousin Hung to get things ready and all the bad luck and negative energy that came with us since the year before will be blew up high in the sky and explode together with the fire works... shatter into tiny little sparks that light up the night sky, then disappear into thin air... we'll start a new year with all positive and auspicious energy...!

This year, the year of Tiger. According to the Chinese horoscope, this will be a busy year for me, lots of new area to be explored in work, and lots of new responsibility which will better my experience. And in love life, married couple will enjoy abundance romance and sweet time together... but even without this saying, I know that Honey and I have always been a couple that envied by lots of people... :) Health wise, this year need to watch out of all the frequent dine-out and indigestion... go slow, lite and go-green will be the strategies for now :) Being a Snake, Tiger year definitely bring me more power to fly higher! This year, I have set myself certain target at work that I will achieve, like I always say, nothing is impossible! Even it is something new to do, I learn as a I go... these experiences are something that no one can take away from me.

Allow me to quote a sentence that I read from the book titled "Shame" by Jasvinder Sanghera lately, "Speak what you want because once you've sown that seed you can work towards it". One must always have dreams to work on, dream is something that will keeps us moving on... a person without dreams it's like a spirit stuck in a zombie body. I know that my dream of being successful is taking me step-by-step closer to it, I want it and I will get it.

A New Year, a new me... I wanted only the best to happen to myself and I choose to live my life this positive way. May the energy of heaven and earth empowered me to complete this year of Tiger with lots of determinations and strong wills, to make all this possible!

If today is the end of the world...

Lately, the movie '2012' has become a great hit among our friends, everyone is talking about how great and how breath-taking each catastrophe scene in the movie is.

I went to watch the movie last night, truly it is one of the movies that you don’t want to missed. The special effects and technology arrangements of the movies are great, but I find it not ‘deep’ enough, deep as in the feelings and emotions of each characters, it couldn’t impact too much on me, and it is the END OF THE WORLD that we are talking about here! Unlike the late 1990’s classics – TITANIC, with only an event that happened within one night, it makes me remember for life, and mind you, TITANIC is a movie that I’ve watched 17 times, and still find it captivating…

According to the ancient prophecy by Michel Nostradamus, December 20, 2012 will be end of the world. What is the first thing that come to your mind when a person mention to you 'end of the world'? Most of us will think of something very physical - the pain that we have to go through, the blood that we will shed. What about feelings? What about emotions? And what about spiritual?

If today is the end of the world, what do you want to do? Do you still want to go on chasing the dreams – money & fame that you have been chasing all these years? Do you still want to go on delaying telling that special someone you love him/her, thinking that you’ll still have a chance to do so tomorrow? Or do you still want to go on telling your parents that you do not have time to have a meal with them, because of the never-finish deadlines and works?

I am not trying to make you pessimistic about the future or trying to send out negative energy that will make you worried or panic. You and me, everyone in this world, we have always been taking life for granted, thinking that we’ll have chance to do what we always wanted to do tomorrow hence keep procrastinating some events in life that we will regret forever if tomorrow never comes. Life is short, why live it with regrets?

Come on, people… End of the world might or might not come, but why wait till then to treasure those we love? Tell them now, and show them now, how much they mean to you… Like I said, life is short, live life to its fullness, even if today is really the end of the world, your family, spouse or that special someone knows that you love them dearly, there’ll be nothing for them to regret living this life with you… Don’t you think so?

 

- Sunday, 15 November 2009

生活

最近有點累, 是那忙碌的生活節奏吧!

真希望有時間能停下來好好的欣賞身邊的風景. 好好的用心去聽完那首未完的歌.

終於望到了... 終於我得拿假期, 遠離工作, 把壓力暫時放下, 全心全意的讓心身休息... 可悲的是, 我所要拿的是十天的病假. 不到病了也不願意停下腳步, 生活真的那麼委曲嗎?? 事實非也, 只是自己一直不願放慢腳步, 害怕緩慢的腳步會令自己錯失了最精彩的.

最精彩的往往就只有曇花一現, 為了這一分追尋的榮耀, 身心, 精神也透支了.

這一趟被逼住院檢查及進行一項小手術, 我看也該趁著這時候好好的休息一會兒. 歇一歇只為了往後要走更遠, 更長的路程.

薇 - 2009/四月九日

People come, people go.

I do not know where it begun, and I do not know how it begun...
You came into my life by surprise, you held my hands and became my friend.
So much precious memories we had shared, but now leaving me feeling all the pain...
You left me quietly, make me wondering what is the meaning of friend?

I could never understand, the true feeling in your heart...
For you've never open up yourself, talk to me like someone you can trust.
I have no holding back and given you, all my true self and my heart...
For I've always believed friendship is all about sincerity and trust.

I shall forget all the memories, move on to another page of my life,
To help myself start anew, I know I have to walk away.
People come, people go... Only time will tell when the another you will come into my life,
If there is no trust in our friendship, tell me what is the point to stay?

I wish your journey of life - happy, success and smooth without me,
Hope that your love ones will always be with you,
One night, if you look upon the stars and think of me,
Please remember that, once in your life time there were you and me...

Some Thoughts, Any Thoughts

Notice:

Tonight, no matter how hard I try, I just can't close my eyes, guess I've too much caffiene earlier. As I was looking through the documents in the PC just now, I found this article of which I wrote exactly 1 year ago in Dome Cafe. The cafe is gone now, but I am surprise and thrilled to find that, I still feel the same way I did one year ago about my work... The positive energy never goes away... The more I am stretched, the further I can go... :)

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It is Sunday again, 5th August 2007.

Hubby is working at The Mall, Gadong, for a Travel Fair organized by the Tourism Board of Brunei Government. I’ve been spending too much time alone, since yesterday. It is 5.15pm now, and I am still waiting for hubby in Dome Café, he hasn’t finished his duty yet, he is manning the booth and attending to customers, must be tiring and exhausting.

It has been quite sometimes since I last manned a booth during the time in CHC. It was never a good experience, visitors to the booth would expect I know everything about Canada and provide them with the finest answer possible. As the matter of fact, I should, but somehow, never would I have any interest to read more about this country. It isn’t that I dislike Canada, but I was “terribly pissed” by someone in the HC, which made me giving up trying on anything in CHC. Ah, forget about it! I am not going round the world to bring the story to you here! Haha! What is gone is gone! May those ‘bad memories’ stop haunting me again.

Gadong is considering the busiest place in BSB, as usual, it was packed of curious visitors to The Mall today. I made more than 10 turns and took me more than 30 minutes to found a parking, so you should know how crowded the situation is! Out of the cafés in The Mall, Dome is my favorite, despite the fact that the drinks and more expensive than usual and the air-conditioning seems never working, the environment here is quiet and peaceful. I might be loud and talkative, but whenever I am alone, I love to enjoy the tranquil of the air, no one to make too much noise to make me headache. It is always nice to be alone sometimes.

One might think that I am an introvert. But as the matter of fact, I love being with people, is just that the other side of me yearn to have some peacefulness whenever I am alone. I guess any busy working individuals will have this kind of feeling. After a whole week of hustling life, weekend is good to spend quietly in order to rejuvenate our energies! ‘

I am expecting for a busy week starting tomorrow, those meetings and trainings are lining up waiting for me. I managed to postpone 2 trainings until September, so at least I have 2 extra days which I can concentrate on my SOP. It is a scary thing to start another new month by seeing your SOP starts at -15 again… haha! But sometimes I think that it is actually quite fun. The more we do, the more the target get increased, the harder I would work to achieve it, if not because of this stretching way of work environment, I would never know how far I could go…

'Nin Jiom Pei Pa Koa'

Its sore throat, flu and cough again!

I've been slightly under the weather this week. It all started with a mild sore throat last Friday evening, then flu... then the whole "package" kicks in... one after another. After the flu is gone, then the "grand finale" will be cough. I hate it the most!

No professional doctor is needed, because I am always my own doctor when it comes to flu and cough. I drank lots of warm water, no cold fruits... and my family traditional, ever-trusted cough remedy - Mixing 'Nin Jiom Pei Pa Koa' with hot water and sip down slowly. It always works for me...

Today is exactly the 9th day... I hope the cough will go away soon. It is so bad that sometimes I can feel my chest pain when cough. I was actually feeling better already yesterday but then... Blame it all to the cold Kwai Fei Lychees drink I had last night during a birthday dinner for my colleague, Ms W. The drink was so tempting so I had a little more that I should and I should've less ice to go with it... after I returned from the dinner, the coughing just wouldn't stop...

It's time for a cup of 'Nin Jiom Pei Pa Koa' now to sooth my throat... Hmmm...

Hope I'll recover soon...

New puppy

Today at about 4:00pm, Brother Nam called me.

His friend is giving away puppies! Very kind and loving of my brother knowing that I am still mourning for the death of my puppies, he wanted to bring a new one for me.

It is an all-black, hairy, puppy girl... but I've a problem with it. I told myself I'll not adopt anymore puppies, it is very painful to see them die... Brother Nam is giving me a week time to consider, he thinks I really should bring this puppy home to fill the emptiness that I am feeling after losing Zhonnie and the other 2 puppies...

Should I or shouldn't I...?

Rest in peace - Zhonnie & 2 puppies

Last Friday night, 4 July 2008, we came home @ about10.30pm.

Unlike any other day, our house compound was exceptionally quiet... we don't see the puppies running towards our car and try to 'catch' us while we tried to enter the house... which they usually would.

Hubby and I suddenly had a very bad feeling, "something is not right!", "this can't be it!” bad thoughts kept playing in our minds but none of us speak a word. As we dragged out tired body to first floor of our house, my father-in-law was waiting for us in the living room... He came to us as if something serious had happened, then he told us: "all the dogs are death!"... I suddenly realized - the worse had happened! All the dogs? Did he mean our 3-year old Zhonnie & the 4 puppies?? Then my father-in-law said: "but one of the puppies ran away...”

My husband I went out to the balcony and tried to call the puppy home. As we stepped out to the balcony, I noticed that the puppy was next door, underneath our neighbor’s car. As we called "puppy... puppy...” it came running back home to us as if seeing its rescuer, we went downstairs to check on the puppy... it was fine, but it was the only one left (out of the 5-dogs-gang we used to have!)... Everyone was quiet, no one said a word. After making sure the only puppy was alright... Hubby and I took our shower and went to bed... without saying anything at all... we sad and angry; sad because our loyal dog - Zhonnie & 3 puppies were death, angry because someone near to our house has poisoned them!!!

The next day morning, Saturday, 5 July 2008 @ about 8am, hubby kissed on my cheek to say goodbye as he was ready to work... I opened up my eyes, heard hubby said..."2 puppies came back"... so I rushed out to see, 2 of them (1 male & 1 female) was underneath hubby's car, but 2 of them were badly poisoned, they couldn't move at all. So I thought to myself, at least 3 of them survive; I must do something to rescue them... fast! Seeing them suffering really break my heart, I rushed to the room, grabbed my hand phone and start calling any vet numbers that I know, finally I got hold of an Egyptian doctor - Dr Mamdoh. He came after half and hour, checked on the 2 puppies, gave them medicine and injections, Dr told me that if they can survive today, they would be fine... Just make sure the medicine is fed to them again at 5pm.

Since I still need to work that afternoon (SCB Ceramic Exhibition), off I left at about 12:00 noon. At work, about 4:00pm, I received a phone call from hubby that 1 of the puppies couldn't make it... that's the short-tailed female one (the 1 that hubby loved most). Nothing can be done, we have tried our best but the poison was too strong... Someone (our neighbor’s worker) has buried it for us... I'd choose not to look at the body; I just want to remember it as a happy and energetic puppy of which I adopted 4 months ago always.

Out of all the sad news, (we thank God) 2 of the puppies made it. They are still on medication, but recovering. I noticed they are not as cheerful and hyper as before, probably shaken badly by the incident of losing their friends. Dogs also need time to recover from the pain, what more hubby and I, losing our loyal Zhonnie of 3 years and 2 puppies that we adopted since infancy. I will never adopt puppies anymore, just can't bear seeing something bad happen to them, they are so helpless & defenseless...

We adopted Zhonnie 3 years ago from Seria and 4 of the puppies on 13th March 2008 from Lumut.